All you ever wanted to know, but never dared to ask, about Santa's reindeers. John Scalzi was so kind to ask for you.

All you ever wanted to know, but never dared to ask, about Santa's reindeers. John Scalzi was so kind to ask for you.

Originally shared by Dan Thompson

John Scalzi interviews Santa's reindeer wrangler

This is a great mock-interview. Here's one of the better bits from when Scalzi is asking about finding new reindeer for Santa's sled:

A: Well, the genes for flying in reindeer are recessive, so we have to test for ability.

Q: With a DNA test?

A: With a catapult.

Q: Wait, what?

A: We chuck ‘em into the air and see what happens.

Q: That’s… that’s horrible.

A: Why?

Q: What if they don’t have the flying gene!

A: Then they come down.

Q: And you don’t see a problem with that?

A: It’s just gravity.

Q: There’s that little part at the end! You know, when the reindeer who have been chucked into the air hit the ground at 32 feet per second per second.

A: What? No. We put up nets, dude.

Q: Nets?

A: Nets. To catch them. Jeez, what do you think we are, monsters?

Q: I didn’t know!

A: PETA would be all over us for that.

Q: Maybe you should have mentioned the nets earlier.

A: I would think they would be implied.

Q: Sorry.
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/12/21/interview-with-santas-reindeer-wrangler/